rain down on me...

it's raining.

the rain is a comforting sound as it taps against my window. i hear the steady beat like a million little drums going off at once.

the rain always gets me to pondering. it reminds me of washing the world anew, cleansing life and making it whole again. as i sit and ponder on my life, i reminds me of changes i need to make for my well-being. between my career, my love life, and just me in general, i know that there has to be cleaning i need to do to get my house in order.

my job situation has become somewhat crucial. i've been working at the same place for five years, almost six. at this point, unless someone retires, there's no room for advancement. it's time for me to move on, but the motivation to actually begin the process escapes me a little. Lord knows i need a job that pays more and gives me fulfillment, but you know how it is when you're comfortable. i can do my job in my sleep, and i'm more than familiar with everyone there. almost like a family, complete with the all the eating and bickering we do. however, what i do is not exactly challenging...and it's not in my field either. so it's time to go.

one the love front, things are far from perfect. i'm still single, patiently waiting for the one, while still dealing with the others. i have "friends," as i like to refer to them, who fill my time, but that's about all. the one i deal with most often isn't whom i picture myself with in a long-term relationship, but she's nice to spend time with. to find the one, i just need to stop looking. things always happen when you least expect it. the problem is, in my city, the older lesbians are spoken for or hiding or just not people you'd want to date. so what's a single, mature 27-year-old lesbian to do when the only possibilities for love are in the club or so young you'd get arrested? stay true to me and hope that love will seek me out.

everything else is just getting my finances in order and getting ready for the holidays. thanksgiving is four days away, and that means spending the occasion with my daddy's side of the family, whom i like to dub: the shit starters. yeah, they're the side of the family, unlike my mother's, who like to drink, smoke and keep up mess. as with most black families, somebody (usually auntie) always gets drunk and talks a little more than she should. i'll have to do a complete blog about that.

as if on cue, the rain's died down; i guess that's my cue to let of these issues. evrything will seem fresher in the morning.