energy is neither created nor destroyed...

this week, i've been sick. instead of being in bed on valentine's day with a sexy stud, i was in bed on valentines day with a box of kleenex. i didn't have the energy to go work, or do anything other than eating soup and catching up on the talk shows i miss every day.

but in that time, i had time to think and truly feel blessed that i can say: trifling hoes are out of my life.

in the short time it takes to pick up a phone and say "happy valentine's day," the phone never rang with loving words from a certain lady who's supposedly trying to woo me: giggles, the woman that knew the rundown on everybody in our black gay community (or at least it appeared that way). something told me it wasn't going to be much of a love connection with her. and it manifested itself when homegirl told me a while back her phone was disconnected. now don't get me wrong, i'm not a materialistic person and can understand if you are a little low on money. we've all been there.

and she would call me when she got a chance, maybe using someone's cell to set up a date after work.

but the phone was off just a little too long, and when she did get it back up, she didn't call me to let me know what the new number was. no, that would be too simple or show too much care. she simply sent me an email. oh, and along with a nice little note saying, i've been thinking about you.

right...

since then there's been no communication with her. giggles hasn't called. and i haven't called. i guess because if knew if i did, her excuse would be, "i didn't know if you have somebody or not." a sorry explanation, one that really says she's more tied up than i am. as one of my confidants explained, "you don't want her. if you really wanted her, you would have called her."

true, but why should i? this week has taught me that i don't have the time and energy to waste. to give myself to something that ain't working or i don't see going anywhere just to say i have a date on saturday night, doesn't sit well with me. all that energy can be placed somewhere else.

my potential energy for love is high, and just like the theory goes, energy is neither created nor destroyed but only changes form for the right woman.