what happened to girl groups: where the girls aren't...

girl groups ruled the 1990s. who couldn't turn on the radio and hear swv's weak or en vogue's free your mind. it was the jams that made us shake our booties at a high school dance or the slow jam that reminded us of our first crushes. there was a time i couldn't walk down the hall without hearing browstone's if you love me, someone trying desperately to match the harmonies of those three lovely ladies.

then, like all girl groups before (and certainly after), they all faded away. the songs of my teenage years kidnapped by three catty women who couldn't simply put their differences to make beautifuly music.

check it. think about all the girl groups that have come over the years and gave it up, turned it loose at one point or another...

en vogue. swv. browstone. jade. xscape. 3lw. zhane. changes faces. total. zhane. kut klose. 702. blaque. allure. even destiny's child called it splits.

some of them you will never see on a stage together again. happily, some of them have reunited. i hear en vogue is planning a complete reunion with all four original members, and have even been touring with new material. swv has been recording an upcoming album that will be out later this year.

other than that, my girls have been silent. sure, there have been other younger girl groups to take their places. but none have been able to hold a candle to these women.

i remember i jamming with my girls to zhane's hey mr. di or kissing you while while total's kissing you was in the air. when all i need was some of xcape's understanding after an argument, changing faces told me it was okay for your black ass to g.h.e.t.t.o.u.t. as long as you don't walk away, jade said, my love won't hurt you.

i miss these girls...music just ain't the same.

who was your favorite girl group????

black don't crack...

today we celebrated my great aunt daisy's 77th birthday, a surprise party at outback steakhouse.

it's a blessing to reach that age and still look as good as she does. she still has a great sense of style, drives around in a snazzy pt cruiser and even has a cute boyfriend that she takes romantic getaways with. go on, withcha bad self, aunt daisy.

i must say that the women in our family, especially my mother's side, has been bestowed with great genes that allow us to look a lot younger than we really are. it's the reason why my mother gets annoyed (but secretly loves it) when i tell people her real age, because they always guess a number that's more than 10 years off. and as the song goes, "she get from her mama," so i'm grateful i'll be fooling people well into my older age.

but then i thought, as i devoured my fried shrimp, black women (and men, too) really don't show their age. sure they may have gray hair and a couple of wrinkles here and there. but for the most part, we age gracefully.

every year, essence magazine does this spread of women who defy the odds in can you guess how old i am?, usually around the first of the year. the mag features women who's age ain't nothing but a number, and getting down ain't nothing but a thing. they are ladies who still dance, run companies, bodybuild and look about 20 years younger doing it all. what got me this year was a lady who was (and i'm trying to remember exactly) about 103, who only appeared to be about 60. i was mystified.

it's amazing all the things we go through as black women: dealing with black men bullshit, white men envy, white women false-worship, our sometimes ignorant-acting black children. it's a wonder why we aren't sagged with wrinkles upon wrinkles like sophia petrillo from the golden girls (my fav show).

but we manage to hold up good, thank God. because only he could make us as strong as we are and still look good. look at lena horne, at eartha kitt, or even at the late miss coretta scott king (r.i.p.). Lord knows she's seen enough for three life times, but she always looked fresh and beautiful every single time i saw her.

so, in honor of growing old gracefully....

this is for you, aunt daisy....

this time, an ode to black men...

no, i'm not turning straight...not now, not ever...

but there are some men that i do find attractive. hey, just because my libido doesn't work overtime over dick, doesn't mean i don't appreciate the male specimen. i just don't want to sleep with them or be in a relationship with them.

this is a topic of discussion me and my gay male friends love to discuss.

here's my picks...


michael ealy...cute but hard



jay-z...he's charismatic

morris chesnut...deep chocolate

t.i...smart but thuggish...a gay boi's dream (at least that's that what they tell me)

boris kodjoe...caramel cutie

i've been tagged: alphabet soup...

i got tagged my straight sistah, chubby chocolate, so of course i had to comply....can't mess wit a girl sporting double ds....i should know...

Accent: a little bit of bougie, with some country mixed in...just depends on who i'm around
Bra size: 40DD (just like chubby!)
Chore I hate: paying bills...seems like more money's going out than coming in...i don't know what johnny kemp was so happy about (ya know the tune, "just got paid, it's friday night).
Dad's name: Julius
Essential make-up: more simple--some cover girl foundation, fashion fair lipstick and eyeshadow, and i'm done
Favorite perfume: two way tie--clinique happy or avon's always
Gold or Silver? silver
Hometown: too small to name...
Insomnia: every night from about 2 a.m. to 5 a.m.
Job Title: administrative Assistant with too much damn experience
Kids: none yet, thank the Lord...but my nieces and nephews will suffice
Living Arrangement: In apartment
Mom's Birthplace: in that small ass town i live in
Number of Sexual Partners: geez, about 8 (hey, i'm selective)
Overnight Hospital Stays: none, thank the Lord
Phobia(s): tall heights, death
Quote: "Every woman I have ever loved has left her print upon me, where I loved some invaluable piece of myself apart from me--so different that I had to stretch and grow in order to recognize her. And in that growing, we came to separation, that place where work begins." - Audre Lorde
Religion: is not my cup of tea. however spirituality and loving that the Lord is my savior who created me the just the way i am is my bread and butter.
Siblings: one brother and one sister
Two I'm tagging: the unique woman known as Nikki @ Indigo Trails & the fabulous diva known as "n" search of ecstasy
Unnatural hair colors I've worn: reddish brown
Vegetables I refuse to eat: too many to name, but these immediately come to mind: okra (too slimy), green peas (too stinky), and beets (too disgusting)...
Worst habit: picking my nose in my car (hey, it's my car)
X-rays I've had: left ankle that i sprained a few years back and back from my childhood when i got hit in the head with a rock (have to make a blog about that one)
Yummy foods I make: Lasagna (from scratch), fried chicken
Zodiac sign: Capricorn

ode to black women...

for the homophobic faint at heart, please stop reading here...

you can call me a lesbian...

i thought i'd preface this blog entry by letting this be known up front.

maybe you're not hearing me...i love black women...

from head to toes (and everything in between...), i have a passion for women that is appreciated and most definitely worshipped.

there's nothing finer than her bare body draped across my bed, where her round accoutrements are calling out for my caress, her nakedness making me ache for her softness on top of mine, complementing each other like twin souls.

yes, that's truly God's greatest work of art.

especially the black woman.

there's nothing like her.

from her full, luscious lips to the swell of her voluminous hips...

from the place on her neck that makes her hot to the center of her spot that only i can make talk....

from the simple touch of her hand in mine to a delicate kiss that reminds me i'm kissing a woman...

that's why i fall in love with black women...