the things people say...

it's amazing the things people say when they think you're one of them.

and when i mean "them," i mean heterosexual.

at work, i'm not out. my sexuality is my business, and i don't want it to be the focus of my work or to get in the way of my professionalism. i just do my job, do it well, and keep my personal life to myself.

this also allows for people to give me their views about homosexuality. you'd be surprised, but it comes up quite often, especially when the down-low pandemic began. j. l. king and his inability to keep it in his pants started a whole lot of conversations in our small office.

most of them shook their heads in shame about how the scandalous behavior was affecting our black women, for reasons dealing with the emotional fallout and the high risk of contracting a disease.

i agreed with their points, however, i also told them how i think that if the black community stop treating homosexuality like a curse, these down-low brothers would probably be more courageous about coming out.

"well, being gay is a disease," one told me. "it's not natural."

"it's sick," another said, truly outraged. "gay people are some of the most deranged people. they do some sick things, things that straight people don't do."

at this point, i'm trying to contain my laughter. is she serious?

when i look at her face, i can tell she is. she truly believes what she's saying.

"if i knew one of my friends was gay, i couldn't be friends with them anymore," her face contorted like she breathed in something rotten.

again, a serious cloud darkened her face.

so this co-worker, who i share a talk or laugh with from time to time, wouldn't give me the time of day if she knew my sexual orientation? is it really that serious?

oh, and i've heard other dumb-ass remarks from some highly-intelligent people.

can't she tell i'm just like everyone else?

paraphrasing from shakespeare (and making it my own): "i am a {lesbian}. hath not a {lesbian} eyes? hath not a {lesbian} hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a {straight person} is? if you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?"

that revenge part sounds good. but my best revenge is simply being quiet, knowing that God don't like hypocrites.